After all the excitement of the boys' birthday party this weekend, I wanted to stop and just savor them as they are today. Seems like with all the hustle-and-bustle of our everyday lives, I sometimes wish that Jack would start walking or Sean would be a little more independent. But tonight after Jack fell asleep in my arms, I studied him for a long time. I tried to etch every detail of his sleeping face into my memory. His chubby cheeks. The little roll of fat around his wrists. Each dimpled knuckle. I love his little thunder thighs! Soon he will be a toddler and I'll be running around after him, but right now he's my baby and loves me more than anything else in this world. Even Sean thinks we are the coolest people on the planet. And I know that won't last forever!
So I just wanted to stop the march of time for a few minutes and hold my babies. Just as they are, right now.
Showing posts with label thoughts. Show all posts
Showing posts with label thoughts. Show all posts
Sunday, June 6, 2010
Saturday, September 12, 2009
Why Toddlers Have Temper Tantrums
by Kenneth N. Condrell, Ph.D.
Child Psychologist
Many parents find their toddler's temper tantrums bewildering. How is it possible that a once-sweet baby could fall to the floor screaming and kicking? How could such a tantrum be considered normal? To learn the answer to why toddlers have temper tantrums, you need to put yourself in the shoes of both a baby and a typical toddler. I will do this for you, showing you first what life is like from the perspective of a baby and then from a toddler's point of view.
'For many months, since I was born, my parents have been catering to my every demand. They knock themselves out to keep me satisfied and comfortable. Each time I whimper, cry, burp or pass gas mom or dad, or both parents, are there for me. What a wonderful life! What wonderful service! I have two grown-ups catering to me 'round the clock. It doesn't matter if it's 3 in the morning or 9 at night. I can count on mom or dad to be there to change my wet diaper or give me a bottle. Sometimes, they even rock me or sing me a song.'
Everything I just described is absolutely necessary for babies. They need this nurturing and attention to survive. They need this service and love so they can trust that their new world outside the womb is a good place. If a baby learns he can rely on the world to help him survive, he has the foundation to develop a personality. Babies also need this service and love so they can fall in love with their parents. You see, babies have been inside their mother's womb for nine months. A mother may have fallen in love with her baby during this time, but her baby won't fall in love with her until after he leaves the womb. This happens only if mom and dad are there for a baby in every way.
Now, let's move on to life from the perspective of the baby as he becomes a toddler.
'I'm feeling wonderfully secure with the way everyone is fussing with me. I eat when I'm hungry and get changed when I'm wet. When I'm irritable, someone picks me up. When I'm bored, someone hands me a rattle. Little by little, though, I'm growing up. Soon I can roll over and then I can sit up. Before I know it, I'm 18 months old. Things are changing fast. I'm a toddler! All of a sudden the 'round-the-clock service I had been receiving is beginning to slack off. I guess when you're a toddler you can't have this continuous service all the time—I may even have to wait. What's really upsetting is when my mom or dad says, 'No.' At times they even seem to be mad at me, and they scold me.'
As a parent, you can now see how a baby has come to expect that he will have his way. You can also see that, to a toddler, growing up means receiving less service from his parents and having to wait for needs to be satisfied. All this can be overwhelming for a toddler who not only has these high expectations, but who has not yet developed any self-control or coping skills. So when a toddler is faced with frustration, he often loses it and has a temper tantrum. When the world doesn't respond to a toddler the way it did when he was a baby, he temporarily goes into a fit of rage. At this point, he cannot respond to reason. Trying to stop your toddler's temper tantrum by saying something like, 'If you don't stop I will give you something to cry about,' means nothing to him.
Also, you can see why it doesn't make sense to interpret a toddler's temper tantrum as a defiant act against authority. A toddler in the middle of a temper tantrum is not defying anyone. This child is temporarily out of control, a little 'crazy.' He cannot help himself.
As your toddler grows, he experiences one frustration after another. From these experiences, the toddler gradually begins to develop a tolerance for putting things off and not always having his way. But this takes time. While he learns how to tolerate frustration, there will be many temper tantrums. Sometimes during these temper tantrums, the toddler will fall to the floor and bang his head. Sometimes, he will pull his hair and spit. Sometimes he will kick his feet, or throw things—or throw up. All of this is normal...of course, it's also trying on the toddler's parents. But now that you understand why toddlers have temper tantrums, you will be in a better position to be patient—and you'll be reassured that you're not raising a brat.
http://www.fisher-price.com/fp.aspx?st=20&e=parentresourceexpertadvice&content=39033&email=1
Child Psychologist
Many parents find their toddler's temper tantrums bewildering. How is it possible that a once-sweet baby could fall to the floor screaming and kicking? How could such a tantrum be considered normal? To learn the answer to why toddlers have temper tantrums, you need to put yourself in the shoes of both a baby and a typical toddler. I will do this for you, showing you first what life is like from the perspective of a baby and then from a toddler's point of view.
'For many months, since I was born, my parents have been catering to my every demand. They knock themselves out to keep me satisfied and comfortable. Each time I whimper, cry, burp or pass gas mom or dad, or both parents, are there for me. What a wonderful life! What wonderful service! I have two grown-ups catering to me 'round the clock. It doesn't matter if it's 3 in the morning or 9 at night. I can count on mom or dad to be there to change my wet diaper or give me a bottle. Sometimes, they even rock me or sing me a song.'
Everything I just described is absolutely necessary for babies. They need this nurturing and attention to survive. They need this service and love so they can trust that their new world outside the womb is a good place. If a baby learns he can rely on the world to help him survive, he has the foundation to develop a personality. Babies also need this service and love so they can fall in love with their parents. You see, babies have been inside their mother's womb for nine months. A mother may have fallen in love with her baby during this time, but her baby won't fall in love with her until after he leaves the womb. This happens only if mom and dad are there for a baby in every way.
Now, let's move on to life from the perspective of the baby as he becomes a toddler.
'I'm feeling wonderfully secure with the way everyone is fussing with me. I eat when I'm hungry and get changed when I'm wet. When I'm irritable, someone picks me up. When I'm bored, someone hands me a rattle. Little by little, though, I'm growing up. Soon I can roll over and then I can sit up. Before I know it, I'm 18 months old. Things are changing fast. I'm a toddler! All of a sudden the 'round-the-clock service I had been receiving is beginning to slack off. I guess when you're a toddler you can't have this continuous service all the time—I may even have to wait. What's really upsetting is when my mom or dad says, 'No.' At times they even seem to be mad at me, and they scold me.'
As a parent, you can now see how a baby has come to expect that he will have his way. You can also see that, to a toddler, growing up means receiving less service from his parents and having to wait for needs to be satisfied. All this can be overwhelming for a toddler who not only has these high expectations, but who has not yet developed any self-control or coping skills. So when a toddler is faced with frustration, he often loses it and has a temper tantrum. When the world doesn't respond to a toddler the way it did when he was a baby, he temporarily goes into a fit of rage. At this point, he cannot respond to reason. Trying to stop your toddler's temper tantrum by saying something like, 'If you don't stop I will give you something to cry about,' means nothing to him.
Also, you can see why it doesn't make sense to interpret a toddler's temper tantrum as a defiant act against authority. A toddler in the middle of a temper tantrum is not defying anyone. This child is temporarily out of control, a little 'crazy.' He cannot help himself.
As your toddler grows, he experiences one frustration after another. From these experiences, the toddler gradually begins to develop a tolerance for putting things off and not always having his way. But this takes time. While he learns how to tolerate frustration, there will be many temper tantrums. Sometimes during these temper tantrums, the toddler will fall to the floor and bang his head. Sometimes, he will pull his hair and spit. Sometimes he will kick his feet, or throw things—or throw up. All of this is normal...of course, it's also trying on the toddler's parents. But now that you understand why toddlers have temper tantrums, you will be in a better position to be patient—and you'll be reassured that you're not raising a brat.
http://www.fisher-price.com/fp.aspx?st=20&e=parentresourceexpertadvice&content=39033&email=1
Thursday, September 3, 2009
Rear-Facing Car Seats Until the Age of 2
http://askdrsears.com/news/headlines0809.asp?utm_source=newsletter&utm_medium=email&utm_term=&utm_content=&utm_campaign=news&#t1
New AAP recommendations are that toddlers sit rear-facing until the age of two years. See link above for more info.
New AAP recommendations are that toddlers sit rear-facing until the age of two years. See link above for more info.
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
From the Mouth of Babes...
Today Matthew picked up Sean from school and on the way home, some (crazy) driver was trying to pass Matthew on a two-lane street (one lane heading east, and the other lane heading west). Long story short, the word "crazy" is now part of Sean's vocabulary. As in, "Momma, that man was crazy." Yeah, we've been spelling out words for several months now. After we said grace for dinner, Sean said that we had to pray for the crazy man too. I don't know where he got it from, but it was incredibly humbling for both Matthew and me. I just hope that I will be good enough for this little man that God has entrusted to us.
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
I Can See Why People Stop After Two...
Kids, that is. That's been my constant thought today. After our first twenty-four hours at home, we've been learning how to juggle the needs of both Sean and Jack together. Thank goodness for grandparents! And a lot of coordination too. Our first night was pretty tough since Jack got so hungry even after I'd fed him. So for sanity's sake, we decided to supplement with formula until my milk comes in.
Otherwise, we are doing a lot better than expected. Just trying to take it one day at a time.
Otherwise, we are doing a lot better than expected. Just trying to take it one day at a time.
Sunday, February 8, 2009
I Love You!
This evening as I was cooking dinner, Sean lifted up my t-shirt to "kiss a belly." We've been teaching him to be careful with my belly and kiss the new baby. Then afterwards, I tell Sean that the baby says, "I love you, big brother Sean." But tonight Sean said, "I love you" a couple of times after he kissed my belly. Just makes this Momma's heart sing!
Also, during dinner I was telling Sean about my ultrasound tomorrow and how we'll find out if it's a boy or a girl. Sean said he doesn't want either. ;)
Also, during dinner I was telling Sean about my ultrasound tomorrow and how we'll find out if it's a boy or a girl. Sean said he doesn't want either. ;)
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
It Doesn't Snow in Houston
So after spending 12 hours at work, listening to the radio and customers talking about the snow outside, I finally got to go out and see our truck. It was beautiful! Now, all our relatives who live up North may say, "What's the big deal?" But it rarely snows here so this is a little treat. I was actually in Kingwood (~35 miles north of Houston) and by the time I got back home, there was no snow in Houston itself. There's actually a song about how there's no snow in Houston. Will have to see if I can find it...
Friday, June 13, 2008
Exchange Your BPA Bottles!
I read on different blogs earlier this week about how Babies 'R Us is taking back BPA bottles like Avent and Dr. Browns. I didn't find anything official from Babies 'R Us, only word-of-mouth from different blogs. We don't really have very many bottles, but since Sean turned one I rounded them up and didn't known what to do with them. I didn't want to use them for the future babies because of concerns with BPA, and I'm glad I kept them instead of throwing them out.
First I went to the Toys 'R Us near the medical center. They said that since these bottles are not officially recalled, they are not taking them back. Undeterred, I called the Babies 'R Us in Sugar Land and spoke to a manager to get the official story. Yes, they are taking BPA bottles back without a receipt. You can exchange the bottles for a equivalent dollar amount in other bottles. However, if you return more bottles than you buy, you will not receive a store credit or gift card. You just lose that amount.
So today, Sean and I went to return his old bottles. What did we get in exchange? The Adiri Natural Nurser. They look like they're easy to use because there's only three parts and it's all dishwasher safe (top rack, of course). Sean doesn't use bottles anymore, but I think it'll be good for his future siblings. (Whoa. Hold on, there. No, we're not pregnant.) With all this daycare hoopla over milk, I actually bought another kind of bottle too. It's called WeeGo glass baby bottle. Sean just played with it but didn't want to drink anything out of it. Another one to go in the box for future babies...
First I went to the Toys 'R Us near the medical center. They said that since these bottles are not officially recalled, they are not taking them back. Undeterred, I called the Babies 'R Us in Sugar Land and spoke to a manager to get the official story. Yes, they are taking BPA bottles back without a receipt. You can exchange the bottles for a equivalent dollar amount in other bottles. However, if you return more bottles than you buy, you will not receive a store credit or gift card. You just lose that amount.
So today, Sean and I went to return his old bottles. What did we get in exchange? The Adiri Natural Nurser. They look like they're easy to use because there's only three parts and it's all dishwasher safe (top rack, of course). Sean doesn't use bottles anymore, but I think it'll be good for his future siblings. (Whoa. Hold on, there. No, we're not pregnant.) With all this daycare hoopla over milk, I actually bought another kind of bottle too. It's called WeeGo glass baby bottle. Sean just played with it but didn't want to drink anything out of it. Another one to go in the box for future babies...
Friday, May 16, 2008
Keep It Simple
I read Old-Fashioned Play Builds Serious Skills and Creative Play Makes for Kids in Control. These articles are very reassuring. I have obsessed over just about every purchase for Sean since before he was born. Partly because I'm just that way; partly because I can in this day of instant online information. Maybe I'm also determined that our apartment will not be over-run with toys.
One of my concerns is the amount of marketing geared towards children. Every kids show has dolls or action figures, lunch boxes backpacks, cereal, a clothing line, and the list goes on ad nauseum. Is this what childhood is now? Developing little consumers...
I don't want Sean to be a bratty kid and I don't want him to be more concerned with things than people. Thinking back to my childhood though, I was pretty concerned with "stuff." Still am. Of course, I should probably set a good example by cleaning out my closet...
One of my concerns is the amount of marketing geared towards children. Every kids show has dolls or action figures, lunch boxes backpacks, cereal, a clothing line, and the list goes on ad nauseum. Is this what childhood is now? Developing little consumers...
I don't want Sean to be a bratty kid and I don't want him to be more concerned with things than people. Thinking back to my childhood though, I was pretty concerned with "stuff." Still am. Of course, I should probably set a good example by cleaning out my closet...
Saturday, May 10, 2008
Working and Pumping
I just met a woman today who told me about her breastfeeding experience. She nursed her daughter for about 5-6 months while working full-time and was upset that she couldn't make enough milk to continue past that time. I tried to comfort her, but I'm not very good at that sort of thing and she said that she would never get over it anyway.
I'm amazed by moms who work full-time and pump for their babies. I'm not even working full-time and I can't wait to quit pumping at work. It's just difficult to find the time to pump when you're busy working. Plus, there's so much gear to lug around: your pump and all its paraphernalia, a cooler for milk storage, some water and snacks for me, plus my purse. And you have to find a place to pump. Personally, I refuse to pump in a restroom, sitting on a toilet. (Would you choose to eat in a public restroom?) And then everybody at work knows you're pumping and sometimes you have to deal with comments from people who don't think breastfeeding is all that great. I think my employer is breastfeeding-friendly, but I feel like I have to censor myself because formula-feeding moms may get offended. It's tough. A friend of mine is working full-time and plans to continue breastfeeding till her son is two years old. I think she deserves a medal!
As moms we are really hard to ourselves, aren't we? Sometimes, we're hard on other moms too. We're all trying our best, and half the time we don't know what we're doing. We're just hoping our kids turn out well in spite of our mistakes. I find myself reading everything I can about parenting (when did that word become a verb?), and I realized that it's because I'm used to everything having an instruction manual. So, I'm slowly learning to let go.
I'm amazed by moms who work full-time and pump for their babies. I'm not even working full-time and I can't wait to quit pumping at work. It's just difficult to find the time to pump when you're busy working. Plus, there's so much gear to lug around: your pump and all its paraphernalia, a cooler for milk storage, some water and snacks for me, plus my purse. And you have to find a place to pump. Personally, I refuse to pump in a restroom, sitting on a toilet. (Would you choose to eat in a public restroom?) And then everybody at work knows you're pumping and sometimes you have to deal with comments from people who don't think breastfeeding is all that great. I think my employer is breastfeeding-friendly, but I feel like I have to censor myself because formula-feeding moms may get offended. It's tough. A friend of mine is working full-time and plans to continue breastfeeding till her son is two years old. I think she deserves a medal!
As moms we are really hard to ourselves, aren't we? Sometimes, we're hard on other moms too. We're all trying our best, and half the time we don't know what we're doing. We're just hoping our kids turn out well in spite of our mistakes. I find myself reading everything I can about parenting (when did that word become a verb?), and I realized that it's because I'm used to everything having an instruction manual. So, I'm slowly learning to let go.
Friday, February 15, 2008
Shoulda-Coulda-Woulda, But Didn't
Back in December when we were shopping for my new cell phone, we met a couple. They were new parents too and told us their four-month-old baby girl was having trouble gaining weight, but she slept through the night at six weeks (9pm - 6am). They were asking what they could do to help her gain weight. I honestly didn't know what to tell them since I assumed that the mother was breastfeeding on-demand like I was. In the end, the father mentioned that they were "doing Babywise." Now, I've never read any books by Gary Ezzo because he's not a medical professional and has no training in lactation or child development. Plus, I read some reviewers on Amazon mention that the Ezzo program has been linked to failure-to-thrive and breastfeeding failure in mothers.
However, I've recently found this website www.ezzo.info, and it has parents' stories (click here) of what following the Ezzo program did for their families. These stories are heart-wrenching!!! I cried for that little baby girl and for all the babies who have been and are being hurt, from failure-to-thrive to Reactive Attachment Disorder and everything in between. I looked at my little Sean and could not imagine flicking his cheek to keep him facing the dinner table or slapping his hands to keep him from reaching for the spoon. (What the...?!?!?!)
Today I told Sean, "Mommy loves you," more often and kissed him more often and hugged him tighter. I prayed for those parents and their baby girl and hoped that they were doing better. I didn't put two and two together at the time, but I also didn't know what to say. I wish I had said something though...
However, I've recently found this website www.ezzo.info, and it has parents' stories (click here) of what following the Ezzo program did for their families. These stories are heart-wrenching!!! I cried for that little baby girl and for all the babies who have been and are being hurt, from failure-to-thrive to Reactive Attachment Disorder and everything in between. I looked at my little Sean and could not imagine flicking his cheek to keep him facing the dinner table or slapping his hands to keep him from reaching for the spoon. (What the...?!?!?!)
Today I told Sean, "Mommy loves you," more often and kissed him more often and hugged him tighter. I prayed for those parents and their baby girl and hoped that they were doing better. I didn't put two and two together at the time, but I also didn't know what to say. I wish I had said something though...
Monday, December 3, 2007
80's Parents
Listening to Matthew this morning put a big smile on my face. He gave Sean his breathing treatment and it takes 10 minutes so we have to sing to him to keep his attention off the medicine. Guess what Daddy was singing? Come on Feel the Noise by Quiet Riot and You Give Love a Bad Name by Bon Jovi. Yeah, we're 80's parents. It's so weird to think that these will be the "classics" that Sean will say his parents sang to him as a child.
Just so you can get these enjoy these too...
Went back to the pediatrician today. Sean is slowly getting better which is the nature of RSV. Still congested, some rattling in his chest, and little to no appetite for cereal/solid foods. The doc expects it will take a few more weeks before Sean's back to 100% healthy. At least, Sean doesn't seem to be too bothered except for the congestion and nasal suction. He measured 26-1/4 inches long. We'll have to wait until he's better before he gets his immunizations.
Just so you can get these enjoy these too...
Went back to the pediatrician today. Sean is slowly getting better which is the nature of RSV. Still congested, some rattling in his chest, and little to no appetite for cereal/solid foods. The doc expects it will take a few more weeks before Sean's back to 100% healthy. At least, Sean doesn't seem to be too bothered except for the congestion and nasal suction. He measured 26-1/4 inches long. We'll have to wait until he's better before he gets his immunizations.
Thursday, July 19, 2007
A Little Sentimental
During the day, I play classical music for Sean. Today while I was nursing we heard Pachelbel's Canon in D. I started thinking about Sean's wedding someday in the future and getting teary-eyed thinking about Matthew and me holding hands in the front pew. Said a prayer for his future wife. She's probably not even born yet.
Thursday, June 21, 2007
Life as We Know It Will Never Be the Same...
Well, Sean is almost a month old now and his schedule is topsy-turvy. We were eating, diapering, and sleeping every three hours. But ever since the three-week growth spurt, there's been a change in our schedule. Now there is no schedule. For the past two nights in a row, Sean has stayed awake from 2 am to about 7 am. Yep, that's right. I said, AWAKE. I don't know what I'm doing wrong. *sigh*
I was checking out another blog and found a link to this italian video about how Italy is different from the rest of the EU. We saw this video years ago after we went to Italy for the first time.
We've been receiving National Geographic Traveler (thanks to a previous tenant who never forwarded his subscription), and so I've been reading about far away places and getting a little wanderlust myself. But it's going to be a while since we have a little one now. I can't even bring myself to take Sean out for more than an hour and a half (as long as his naps) right now, so anything that requires a ride on a plane is out for at least a few months.
I was checking out another blog and found a link to this italian video about how Italy is different from the rest of the EU. We saw this video years ago after we went to Italy for the first time.
We've been receiving National Geographic Traveler (thanks to a previous tenant who never forwarded his subscription), and so I've been reading about far away places and getting a little wanderlust myself. But it's going to be a while since we have a little one now. I can't even bring myself to take Sean out for more than an hour and a half (as long as his naps) right now, so anything that requires a ride on a plane is out for at least a few months.
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